Yiff in Hell 02: September 26 2013

Today's story shies away from political advocacy, and looks at a fandom that's been very near and dear to my heart since I started fapping to pictures of Krystal in Starfox Adventures. In case you have no idea what yiff is, or where the title of this blog comes from, let me give you a quick history lesson: Yiff is three things. First, yiffing is supposedly the sound arctic foxes make when they're screwing. Cool, right? Well, in addition to that, yiff is also people putting on fursuits and fucking, which contrary to popular belief isn't actually all that common in the furry community. The third meaning, which is, like, way more common then the second one is the act of two people who pretend to be cartoon animals (Like me!) fucking over the internet, or drawing pictures of it, or making flash porn of it. "Yiff" and "Yiffing" is basically "Fuck" and "Fucking" in the furry world (Though it was only taken seriously for a very short time. Most people think it's ridiculous now, and most people thought it was ridiculous when it was first conceived.) The term, as far as I know, originally comes from this comic created some time in the 90s that had to do with a lion fucking a... Something. I can't remember the other species involved. Anyways, "Yiff!" was originally just something the character said when he was surprised, and it was pretty adorable. These days, a lot of people won't take you seriously if you ask for yiff in the furry community. It's like going to Compton and asking if anyone knows the location of a good KFC restaurant: Even if you're completely serious, it's a stereotype and everyone knows it. Everyone's going to think you're full of shit.


Anyways, I was sitting here surrounded by used drink cans, old plates, a couple zucchinis, and a Waffen SS Dagger (I'm not even kidding... My dining room is kind of a mess.), when I decide to start browsing some Undersites for some good furry porn. I know, I know, there are much larger and better alternatives, but I just found out about the Deep Web and I like it. I'm trying to get a feel for it. I came across this neat place called "VOR-COM", which is a directory full of pictures you probably don't want to know about. If you don't already know what vore is, trust me, you're not into it.

What really intrigued me, though, was that a lot of artists had their e-mails up. This might sound totally normal, but VOR-COM gave me the impression that a lot of the artists wanted very limited fan interaction... So I sent some of them e-mails asking them questions about the furry community. These guys are, most of them, Greymuzzles... Or Methuselah-ass motherfuckers if you don't speak furry. I e-mailed them because I wanted to know what they thought of how the fandom's evolved since they were first around, how they feel about the popularity growth it's experienced. "Shameless exploitation of famous people to boost your own popularity!" you cry "I thought you were supposed to be a political ranter!" I hear you say. My answers, in order, are: "You're right!" and "Not quite." You see, I'm actually more of a general talker then a political ranter. I'm here to say offensive shit (often about the government), and you're here to read it. This is entertainment. The only time I ever want to send you people news is when I feel I have something important to say.

Unfortunately, none of them had anything to say because their e-mail accounts were all so old the services a lot of them use haven't existed in years. The others either closed their accounts ages ago, or didn't respond.


Instead I got a friend of mine, the revered Doctor Seito Akai (He's like forty... This is being the Oracle of Atlantis on the internet), to answer my questions. The questions were laid out as follows.

1: When did you realize you were a furry?

2: What do you consider a furry to be?

3: What do you think, other then the establishment of Anthrocon and Furaffinity, were the biggest steps in the fandom?

4: What annoys you most about the fandom?

5: Do you consider yourself to be active in the  fur community at all these days?

6: What is the most hilarious thing you've ever heard come out of a fur's mouth? (I know... That one's kind of hard to pick out.)

7: Have you ever met anyone as wise and allknowing as me? Am I not the oracle of things to come, the anointed one, and the very prophet of Xrezreich?

His answers follow

1. I've liked anthropomorphic animal characters since I was a kid. I also liked robots and dinosaurs. Nothing really extraordinary. It was around the time I was in high school that I imagined talking animal characters in more serious stories and I found a strong emotional resonance in that. It wasn't until I got my own computer with an internet connection that I discovered that there were people with similar interests.


2. A fan of anthropomorphic animal characters in art, comics, novels, TV shows, movies, etc.


3. The popularization of the internet was the biggest factor in the growth of the fandom, IMHO. I think more Furries have met over the internet than in any con.


4. The drama. When you have lots of emotionally delicate people who will easily take offense interacting with each other on a regular basis, sparks will fly.


5. I'm a forum mod on a furry site, so I think that's at least somewhat active.


6. Anything involving the word "fursecution".


7. Huh?


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Well, there you have it. He shares many of the same views as me, and the fandom in general. This is, in fact, probably what the majority of the people I like (And the majority of the people YOU should like, you fat prick) would say about the furry community.

Let me talk about number four, though. Not because I disagree with it... But because I agree with it so hard. Now, for those of you who aren't furries, let me explain a good chunk of the furry community to you: You've got emo brick walls, maniacs who insist they have degrees in everything they argue about, and people who didn't take first grade spelling because they were too busy crying furiously because they can't understand why no one loves them (After all, we all love unstable people who need counseling and expect a taketake relationship from their end, right?) and then you've got people like me who don't understand basic fucking manners. The result is constant forum posts revolving around "I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF NEXT THURSDAY AFTER THE TWILIGHT SPECIAL BECAUSE NO ONE LOVES ME" with responses ranging from "Do it faggot!" to "No, please, Reginald! You complete me! Please, I promise I'll listen to you more often!"

As for number six: This is an extension of what I said on number four. Think of furries who believe they're going through the same shit black people went through in the 20s, and are incredibly vocal about it.


Anyways, I'm done talking for now. Go yiff in Hell.