You know what pisses me off? The modern, over hyped military veteran.
"But they're fighting for our country, they're defending freedom." piss off, Tom Clancy, two thirds of the people coming out of Iraq don't know what a real fight is. There's a battle every once in a while where well tempered men of steel boldly face off against insurgents, impossibly outnumbered and surrounded, but then it's over and everyone from their brother to the fucking post man tries to take credit for it just for knowing them. (Not to mention, you know, we killed Osama Ben Bombin' ages ago. I know, I masturbated to pictures of his body.)
Some guys were in a dramatic gunfight in worn out buildings, racing to stop the Taliban from slaughtering your mother's pet poodle Babsy? Too bad for those guys, because everyone else within ten kilometers is going to be jumping on the fucking bandwagon and saying they were stationed in that area when it went down, implying they had something to do with it instead of letting on that they washed dirty trousers in the military for a living, and just happened to be doing it in that general area at the time.
And that's what gets to me the most about these people: Not only are they over hyped, they're stealing the thunder from people who actually did some shit. Same thing with fuckers who get out on medical reasons because it's "Too stressful."
Nowadays if you tell someone you were kicked out of the military for medical reasons, they assume it's because you're a pussy who didn't realize people might die in a war so you immediately insisted on getting a psych-eval and being declared unfit for duty. Why? Because that's what people who get out for medical reasons are these days. What, you got out because your legs had been blown off, or you took a mortar shell to the dick , or you're missing half your face? Well too bad, because Johnny Wimpsnootle and his thirteen buddies just got out because they didn't like being yelled at by the big mean Lieutenant and they want to get out with benefits and "War hero" stamped to their fucking t-shirt like they came in last at the special Olympics but they're happy because they're a winner just for trying.
Remember when Vietnam ended and we threw rocks at the soldiers and spit on them because people don't understand what a general is and that privates and corporals don't make the decisions in the military? (By the way, did you know there's this thing called a draft, and many of them didn't even want to be there in the first place you fucks?) Why is it that we're doing the exact opposite now? Why can't we listen to a person's story, then decide where they rank on the dick to hero scale individually instead of blanketing an entire fucking group with whatever opinion happens to be the most popular in our fucking sowing circle? What we're doing now is the equivalent of noticing we're steering off a cliff, so we turn the wheel in the opposite direction as far is it can go and careen off the other fucking side instead.
Go yiff in Hell.
2013-09-28
2013-09-26
Yiff in Hell 03: September 27 2013
What do you think of people who drive children insane and convince people that invisible men will rape them in the middle of the night if they don't pray incessantly to god not to be raped by said invisible men?
Well, congratulations, if you answered "Strike them to death with cuttlefish and drink their blood with a swirly straw", we share the same opinions about them. What makes it worse is that they actually believe this shit. Not only are they ruining people's brains, they're idiots too. Who am I talking about? Jehovah's Witnesses, of course! Not just them, actually, pretty much any extremist knocknock religion.
Alright, alright, I want you to imagine the following situation: Your ten year old son goes to bed every night crying because the voices in his head tell him to do bad things; Bad things to his family, bad things to his friends, and bad things to himself. Sometimes he has conversations with the voices in his head in the middle of the night out loud. You are genuinely worried about your boy, and you want to bring him to a psychologist for care... But a man knocks on your door, tells him it's demons, and now your husband starts burning gifts the kid got from his grandmother because he thinks there are evil spirits in them. Cute, right? Can you imagine the horrors this women must go through now, knowing her son falls asleep every night hugging a bible and mumbling prayers over and over while her husband is smashing up random shit in the house and tossing it away until he can find which plate the demons are hiding in?
But imagine this man believed that, if he didn't tell you, you would be doomed to an eternity of nonexistence. Imagine he thought that what he was doing was so important that it superseded the need to live. Imagine this man believed that if he didn't tell you, he too would be doomed to eternal nonexistence, and that he would disappoint his loving father in Heaven bitterly.
I know the pain from both sides of the field. I've been the child who cries himself to sleep begging god to keep the demons away (No, really. Not the child in the story, but I've experienced the same shit.) and I've been the man knocking on people's doors telling them demon rapists could strangle them to death with their giant ecto-dongs at any moment. See, I thought what I was doing was good, I thought I was saving these people from dealing with demons, but what I was doing was basic psychology: These demons simply do not exist unless people think they do. Ever feel anxious when you're alone in the dark? Demonic energy! Ever hear bumps in the night? Demons! (Fuck raccoons. It's DEMONS IN YOUR TRASH.) Sounds funny, but I want you to imagine you believe this. I want you to imagine you believe that, not only will these demons fuck with you if you're doing right in god's eyes, they will fuck with you if you're doing wrong. They fuck with you to steer you away from good, and they fuck with you to tease you for doing bad. Suddenly every sound, every shadow in your room that you can't explain is a demon. It's very real to the people who believe this, (I believed it, after all), and here's the thing: Many of them are not insane. You have a whole group of people dedicated to telling them it's all demons. It can turn minor anxiety into something a lot like full blown schizophrenia. It's breaking a person, causing them to hallucinate and imagine things when there is nothing physically wrong with their brain. If that doesn't strike you as diabolical shit, then you don't understand what I just said, or you need to be dragged out into the street and violated to death with oily used machine parts.
That was a true story, by the way, about the prayer mumbling kid and the house smashing. It happened last week. My father, a 'Minister', was telling me about how he might be saving a kid from demons. That's what disgusts me about it, too... These people and their fucking egos. They're always saving people from demons, they're bettering the world, they have a personal relationship with god. Fuck, man, what is this "Hellsing" or something? Seriously, if you want to feel important, be a SEAL or something. You won't be saving the world, but you'll be fucking assassinating people and sometimes you'll actually legitimately save a life or two if you're deployed to counter-terror. You won't be fighting demons or cleansing society of a thousand year old evil, but... IT'S REAL. If you want the demonkill thrill, just play D&D like us normal (Hah!) people do. Oh, that's right, you have some story about how D&D caused the Satanic sacrifice of children in a mental ward and now you think it's the evilest thing ever because you haven't heard of the fucking Elder Scrolls yet. (Incidentally, did you know insane people tend to do irrational shit that indicates nothing about how normal people react? Fun tidbit right?) I wonder what these people would think if I told them I learned how to illegaly make booze in Skyrim, or that I downloaded the sex mod and shagged a couple of Khajit guys to death. I had violent, gay, animal sex... There's a similar mod for Fallout 3, done by the same guy. They're really neat. Seriously, they pick the wrong games to whine about. "Call of Duty! Baww baww baww!" the fact that they pick the games with the highest recognition to be their biggest demons shows just how well researched their invaluable life saving opinions are... But I'm getting off course.
I just can't believe the majority of society believes this archaic God verse Satan shit. These people rank up there with folks who believe what the government tells them and people who think going on murdering sprees is a good way to react to not being popular in school.
I'm going to bed, now, I've been up for two days straight masturbating and watching Starship Troopers... Masturbating TO Starship Troopers on one occasion, even. I'm tired.
Go yiff in Hell.
Well, congratulations, if you answered "Strike them to death with cuttlefish and drink their blood with a swirly straw", we share the same opinions about them. What makes it worse is that they actually believe this shit. Not only are they ruining people's brains, they're idiots too. Who am I talking about? Jehovah's Witnesses, of course! Not just them, actually, pretty much any extremist knocknock religion.
Alright, alright, I want you to imagine the following situation: Your ten year old son goes to bed every night crying because the voices in his head tell him to do bad things; Bad things to his family, bad things to his friends, and bad things to himself. Sometimes he has conversations with the voices in his head in the middle of the night out loud. You are genuinely worried about your boy, and you want to bring him to a psychologist for care... But a man knocks on your door, tells him it's demons, and now your husband starts burning gifts the kid got from his grandmother because he thinks there are evil spirits in them. Cute, right? Can you imagine the horrors this women must go through now, knowing her son falls asleep every night hugging a bible and mumbling prayers over and over while her husband is smashing up random shit in the house and tossing it away until he can find which plate the demons are hiding in?
But imagine this man believed that, if he didn't tell you, you would be doomed to an eternity of nonexistence. Imagine he thought that what he was doing was so important that it superseded the need to live. Imagine this man believed that if he didn't tell you, he too would be doomed to eternal nonexistence, and that he would disappoint his loving father in Heaven bitterly.
I know the pain from both sides of the field. I've been the child who cries himself to sleep begging god to keep the demons away (No, really. Not the child in the story, but I've experienced the same shit.) and I've been the man knocking on people's doors telling them demon rapists could strangle them to death with their giant ecto-dongs at any moment. See, I thought what I was doing was good, I thought I was saving these people from dealing with demons, but what I was doing was basic psychology: These demons simply do not exist unless people think they do. Ever feel anxious when you're alone in the dark? Demonic energy! Ever hear bumps in the night? Demons! (Fuck raccoons. It's DEMONS IN YOUR TRASH.) Sounds funny, but I want you to imagine you believe this. I want you to imagine you believe that, not only will these demons fuck with you if you're doing right in god's eyes, they will fuck with you if you're doing wrong. They fuck with you to steer you away from good, and they fuck with you to tease you for doing bad. Suddenly every sound, every shadow in your room that you can't explain is a demon. It's very real to the people who believe this, (I believed it, after all), and here's the thing: Many of them are not insane. You have a whole group of people dedicated to telling them it's all demons. It can turn minor anxiety into something a lot like full blown schizophrenia. It's breaking a person, causing them to hallucinate and imagine things when there is nothing physically wrong with their brain. If that doesn't strike you as diabolical shit, then you don't understand what I just said, or you need to be dragged out into the street and violated to death with oily used machine parts.
That was a true story, by the way, about the prayer mumbling kid and the house smashing. It happened last week. My father, a 'Minister', was telling me about how he might be saving a kid from demons. That's what disgusts me about it, too... These people and their fucking egos. They're always saving people from demons, they're bettering the world, they have a personal relationship with god. Fuck, man, what is this "Hellsing" or something? Seriously, if you want to feel important, be a SEAL or something. You won't be saving the world, but you'll be fucking assassinating people and sometimes you'll actually legitimately save a life or two if you're deployed to counter-terror. You won't be fighting demons or cleansing society of a thousand year old evil, but... IT'S REAL. If you want the demonkill thrill, just play D&D like us normal (Hah!) people do. Oh, that's right, you have some story about how D&D caused the Satanic sacrifice of children in a mental ward and now you think it's the evilest thing ever because you haven't heard of the fucking Elder Scrolls yet. (Incidentally, did you know insane people tend to do irrational shit that indicates nothing about how normal people react? Fun tidbit right?) I wonder what these people would think if I told them I learned how to illegaly make booze in Skyrim, or that I downloaded the sex mod and shagged a couple of Khajit guys to death. I had violent, gay, animal sex... There's a similar mod for Fallout 3, done by the same guy. They're really neat. Seriously, they pick the wrong games to whine about. "Call of Duty! Baww baww baww!" the fact that they pick the games with the highest recognition to be their biggest demons shows just how well researched their invaluable life saving opinions are... But I'm getting off course.
I just can't believe the majority of society believes this archaic God verse Satan shit. These people rank up there with folks who believe what the government tells them and people who think going on murdering sprees is a good way to react to not being popular in school.
I'm going to bed, now, I've been up for two days straight masturbating and watching Starship Troopers... Masturbating TO Starship Troopers on one occasion, even. I'm tired.
Go yiff in Hell.
Yiff in Hell 02: September 26 2013
Today's story shies away from political advocacy, and looks at a fandom that's been very near and dear to my heart since I started fapping to pictures of Krystal in Starfox Adventures. In case you have no idea what yiff is, or where the title of this blog comes from, let me give you a quick history lesson: Yiff is three things. First, yiffing is supposedly the sound arctic foxes make when they're screwing. Cool, right? Well, in addition to that, yiff is also people putting on fursuits and fucking, which contrary to popular belief isn't actually all that common in the furry community. The third meaning, which is, like, way more common then the second one is the act of two people who pretend to be cartoon animals (Like me!) fucking over the internet, or drawing pictures of it, or making flash porn of it. "Yiff" and "Yiffing" is basically "Fuck" and "Fucking" in the furry world (Though it was only taken seriously for a very short time. Most people think it's ridiculous now, and most people thought it was ridiculous when it was first conceived.) The term, as far as I know, originally comes from this comic created some time in the 90s that had to do with a lion fucking a... Something. I can't remember the other species involved. Anyways, "Yiff!" was originally just something the character said when he was surprised, and it was pretty adorable. These days, a lot of people won't take you seriously if you ask for yiff in the furry community. It's like going to Compton and asking if anyone knows the location of a good KFC restaurant: Even if you're completely serious, it's a stereotype and everyone knows it. Everyone's going to think you're full of shit.
Anyways, I was sitting here surrounded by used drink cans, old plates, a couple zucchinis, and a Waffen SS Dagger (I'm not even kidding... My dining room is kind of a mess.), when I decide to start browsing some Undersites for some good furry porn. I know, I know, there are much larger and better alternatives, but I just found out about the Deep Web and I like it. I'm trying to get a feel for it. I came across this neat place called "VOR-COM", which is a directory full of pictures you probably don't want to know about. If you don't already know what vore is, trust me, you're not into it.
What really intrigued me, though, was that a lot of artists had their e-mails up. This might sound totally normal, but VOR-COM gave me the impression that a lot of the artists wanted very limited fan interaction... So I sent some of them e-mails asking them questions about the furry community. These guys are, most of them, Greymuzzles... Or Methuselah-ass motherfuckers if you don't speak furry. I e-mailed them because I wanted to know what they thought of how the fandom's evolved since they were first around, how they feel about the popularity growth it's experienced. "Shameless exploitation of famous people to boost your own popularity!" you cry "I thought you were supposed to be a political ranter!" I hear you say. My answers, in order, are: "You're right!" and "Not quite." You see, I'm actually more of a general talker then a political ranter. I'm here to say offensive shit (often about the government), and you're here to read it. This is entertainment. The only time I ever want to send you people news is when I feel I have something important to say.
Unfortunately, none of them had anything to say because their e-mail accounts were all so old the services a lot of them use haven't existed in years. The others either closed their accounts ages ago, or didn't respond.
Instead I got a friend of mine, the revered Doctor Seito Akai (He's like forty... This is being the Oracle of Atlantis on the internet), to answer my questions. The questions were laid out as follows.
His answers follow
1. I've liked anthropomorphic animal characters since I was a kid. I also liked robots and dinosaurs. Nothing really extraordinary. It was around the time I was in high school that I imagined talking animal characters in more serious stories and I found a strong emotional resonance in that. It wasn't until I got my own computer with an internet connection that I discovered that there were people with similar interests.
2. A fan of anthropomorphic animal characters in art, comics, novels, TV shows, movies, etc.
3. The popularization of the internet was the biggest factor in the growth of the fandom, IMHO. I think more Furries have met over the internet than in any con.
4. The drama. When you have lots of emotionally delicate people who will easily take offense interacting with each other on a regular basis, sparks will fly.
5. I'm a forum mod on a furry site, so I think that's at least somewhat active.
6. Anything involving the word "fursecution".
7. Huh?
-------
Well, there you have it. He shares many of the same views as me, and the fandom in general. This is, in fact, probably what the majority of the people I like (And the majority of the people YOU should like, you fat prick) would say about the furry community.
Let me talk about number four, though. Not because I disagree with it... But because I agree with it so hard. Now, for those of you who aren't furries, let me explain a good chunk of the furry community to you: You've got emo brick walls, maniacs who insist they have degrees in everything they argue about, and people who didn't take first grade spelling because they were too busy crying furiously because they can't understand why no one loves them (After all, we all love unstable people who need counseling and expect a taketake relationship from their end, right?) and then you've got people like me who don't understand basic fucking manners. The result is constant forum posts revolving around "I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF NEXT THURSDAY AFTER THE TWILIGHT SPECIAL BECAUSE NO ONE LOVES ME" with responses ranging from "Do it faggot!" to "No, please, Reginald! You complete me! Please, I promise I'll listen to you more often!"
As for number six: This is an extension of what I said on number four. Think of furries who believe they're going through the same shit black people went through in the 20s, and are incredibly vocal about it.
Anyways, I'm done talking for now. Go yiff in Hell.
Anyways, I was sitting here surrounded by used drink cans, old plates, a couple zucchinis, and a Waffen SS Dagger (I'm not even kidding... My dining room is kind of a mess.), when I decide to start browsing some Undersites for some good furry porn. I know, I know, there are much larger and better alternatives, but I just found out about the Deep Web and I like it. I'm trying to get a feel for it. I came across this neat place called "VOR-COM", which is a directory full of pictures you probably don't want to know about. If you don't already know what vore is, trust me, you're not into it.
What really intrigued me, though, was that a lot of artists had their e-mails up. This might sound totally normal, but VOR-COM gave me the impression that a lot of the artists wanted very limited fan interaction... So I sent some of them e-mails asking them questions about the furry community. These guys are, most of them, Greymuzzles... Or Methuselah-ass motherfuckers if you don't speak furry. I e-mailed them because I wanted to know what they thought of how the fandom's evolved since they were first around, how they feel about the popularity growth it's experienced. "Shameless exploitation of famous people to boost your own popularity!" you cry "I thought you were supposed to be a political ranter!" I hear you say. My answers, in order, are: "You're right!" and "Not quite." You see, I'm actually more of a general talker then a political ranter. I'm here to say offensive shit (often about the government), and you're here to read it. This is entertainment. The only time I ever want to send you people news is when I feel I have something important to say.
Unfortunately, none of them had anything to say because their e-mail accounts were all so old the services a lot of them use haven't existed in years. The others either closed their accounts ages ago, or didn't respond.
Instead I got a friend of mine, the revered Doctor Seito Akai (He's like forty... This is being the Oracle of Atlantis on the internet), to answer my questions. The questions were laid out as follows.
1: When did you realize you were a furry?
2: What do you consider a furry to be?
3: What do you think, other then the establishment of Anthrocon and Furaffinity, were the biggest steps in the fandom?
4: What annoys you most about the fandom?
5: Do you consider yourself to be active in the fur community at all these days?
6: What is the most hilarious thing you've ever heard come out of a fur's mouth? (I know... That one's kind of hard to pick out.)
7: Have you ever met anyone as wise and allknowing as me? Am I not the oracle of things to come, the anointed one, and the very prophet of Xrezreich?
4: What annoys you most about the fandom?
5: Do you consider yourself to be active in the fur community at all these days?
6: What is the most hilarious thing you've ever heard come out of a fur's mouth? (I know... That one's kind of hard to pick out.)
7: Have you ever met anyone as wise and allknowing as me? Am I not the oracle of things to come, the anointed one, and the very prophet of Xrezreich?
His answers follow
1. I've liked anthropomorphic animal characters since I was a kid. I also liked robots and dinosaurs. Nothing really extraordinary. It was around the time I was in high school that I imagined talking animal characters in more serious stories and I found a strong emotional resonance in that. It wasn't until I got my own computer with an internet connection that I discovered that there were people with similar interests.
2. A fan of anthropomorphic animal characters in art, comics, novels, TV shows, movies, etc.
3. The popularization of the internet was the biggest factor in the growth of the fandom, IMHO. I think more Furries have met over the internet than in any con.
4. The drama. When you have lots of emotionally delicate people who will easily take offense interacting with each other on a regular basis, sparks will fly.
5. I'm a forum mod on a furry site, so I think that's at least somewhat active.
6. Anything involving the word "fursecution".
7. Huh?
-------
Well, there you have it. He shares many of the same views as me, and the fandom in general. This is, in fact, probably what the majority of the people I like (And the majority of the people YOU should like, you fat prick) would say about the furry community.
Let me talk about number four, though. Not because I disagree with it... But because I agree with it so hard. Now, for those of you who aren't furries, let me explain a good chunk of the furry community to you: You've got emo brick walls, maniacs who insist they have degrees in everything they argue about, and people who didn't take first grade spelling because they were too busy crying furiously because they can't understand why no one loves them (After all, we all love unstable people who need counseling and expect a taketake relationship from their end, right?) and then you've got people like me who don't understand basic fucking manners. The result is constant forum posts revolving around "I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF NEXT THURSDAY AFTER THE TWILIGHT SPECIAL BECAUSE NO ONE LOVES ME" with responses ranging from "Do it faggot!" to "No, please, Reginald! You complete me! Please, I promise I'll listen to you more often!"
As for number six: This is an extension of what I said on number four. Think of furries who believe they're going through the same shit black people went through in the 20s, and are incredibly vocal about it.
Anyways, I'm done talking for now. Go yiff in Hell.
2013-09-25
Yiff in Hell 01: September 25 2013
I've been hearing a lot of whining about guns lately: "They're too easy to get! We need more restrictions! Baww baww baww bawwww!"
Well, check out Tor. Seriously, look at all the shit you can buy on there. Bombs, guns, drugs, poison (Risin is at a premium right now! The market's flooded with the stuff!), even hitmen and thugs are for hire there. In case you live in a mayonnaise container or a bomb shelter, that shit's hilariously illegal right now.
Now, before you go whining to your senator about a bill to "stop this immoral villainy!", know this: It's illegal to even HOST and in some cases LOOK at these websites... But that's the thing: They're all hosted on untraceable, often undetectable websites with special addresses. You can't access them via .com addresses or .net addresses, only the .onion address, and rather then plain to read addresses you'll be going to a jumbly .onion address.
http://kpvz7ki2v5agwt35.onion
Follow that link in your browser... Doesn't work, does it? It looks like a random jumble of letters some ranting lunatic on the internet wrote up to spook you. Well, it's a perfect legitimate address (At the time this was written. Domains shift a lot on the Deep Web) and you can find links to everything from clean chat rooms to violent porn and arms dealers. Now, a lot of what you find here will be scams (It's uncensored and nearly untraceable. That means no repercussions to scammers. You're trying to buy BOMBS here, what're you going to do, call the cops and tell them you got ripped off?)
This isn't supposed to be a tutorial on how to buy any of this shit, and I'm not going to give you links to any illegal porn or slave traders (Find it on your own, scumbag), it's just... To raise awareness. I want you, the reader, to know how immensely easy it is to get things that are illegal on a massive scale. There is no legal "medical" use for many of the drugs available, and no legitimate and legal manufacturers for them in the US... But they're still around. Do you really think that, with how ineffective the total banning of drugs has been and how much money the war on drugs has cost us, that we need a "War on guns" to go along with it? Grow up, you're not in Bubblewrapland and you're not in England. Illegal stuff will ALWAYS be available, and it'll ALWAYS be easy to get no matter how much money you throw at it to try and make it go away.
Look, I'm just saying this: Would you rather have it so only the seedy sorts can get weapons, or would you rather be armed too? Give it some thought.
Go yiff in Hell.
Well, check out Tor. Seriously, look at all the shit you can buy on there. Bombs, guns, drugs, poison (Risin is at a premium right now! The market's flooded with the stuff!), even hitmen and thugs are for hire there. In case you live in a mayonnaise container or a bomb shelter, that shit's hilariously illegal right now.
Now, before you go whining to your senator about a bill to "stop this immoral villainy!", know this: It's illegal to even HOST and in some cases LOOK at these websites... But that's the thing: They're all hosted on untraceable, often undetectable websites with special addresses. You can't access them via .com addresses or .net addresses, only the .onion address, and rather then plain to read addresses you'll be going to a jumbly .onion address.
http://kpvz7ki2v5agwt35.onion
Follow that link in your browser... Doesn't work, does it? It looks like a random jumble of letters some ranting lunatic on the internet wrote up to spook you. Well, it's a perfect legitimate address (At the time this was written. Domains shift a lot on the Deep Web) and you can find links to everything from clean chat rooms to violent porn and arms dealers. Now, a lot of what you find here will be scams (It's uncensored and nearly untraceable. That means no repercussions to scammers. You're trying to buy BOMBS here, what're you going to do, call the cops and tell them you got ripped off?)
This isn't supposed to be a tutorial on how to buy any of this shit, and I'm not going to give you links to any illegal porn or slave traders (Find it on your own, scumbag), it's just... To raise awareness. I want you, the reader, to know how immensely easy it is to get things that are illegal on a massive scale. There is no legal "medical" use for many of the drugs available, and no legitimate and legal manufacturers for them in the US... But they're still around. Do you really think that, with how ineffective the total banning of drugs has been and how much money the war on drugs has cost us, that we need a "War on guns" to go along with it? Grow up, you're not in Bubblewrapland and you're not in England. Illegal stuff will ALWAYS be available, and it'll ALWAYS be easy to get no matter how much money you throw at it to try and make it go away.
Look, I'm just saying this: Would you rather have it so only the seedy sorts can get weapons, or would you rather be armed too? Give it some thought.
Go yiff in Hell.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)